That One Time We Bought a House that We Couldn’t Afford

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The truth of the matter is that if we are being honest, we knew we purchased too much home before they could tack the “SOLD!” tag onto the sign in front of the new home. However in practical terms it took us about 7 months to fully comprehend.

Starting Credit Card Debt (01.01.19): $126,310.77
Current Credit Card Debt: $109,570.87
Total Paid Off: $16,739.90
Income Going to Savings: 2%

My wife and I bought a house in June of 2018. We actually bought our 3rd home to be exact. Now before you think I’m some well-to-do, let me tell you a bit about my first two houses…

Our first home was a very modest rambler that was located just a stone’s throw from a Federal Correctional Institution, or in other words… a prison. It was close enough to our home that we could hear the prisoners playing softball on warm summer evenings, and I often took advantage of the way the yard lights illuminated my darkened house to navigate to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Long before “Orange is the New Black” made prisons chic and hip, people would often asked us, “Aren’t you worried about living that close to a prison? What if someone breaks out?”

My response was always that if someone was going to break out, they sure as hell weren’t going head to the modest rambler a few blocks away and hang out for a month. At most they were going to steal one of our cars to get as far away as possible as quickly as possible.

When we moved into that home, we had a nice retired couple living on one side of us and a young family on the other. Across from us were some well maintained and relatively new duplex apartments, and all of this combined to make our dead-end street a pretty great place for a first home.

Within 3 years however, the retired couple moved to Arizona and sold their home to a rental agency. That agency in turn rented the home to a man who (get this) worked on race cars that he raced at the local race track on weekends. Apparently when you work on race cars, it requires that you rev them up to deafening volumes at all hours of the morning and night, usually while blaring Megadeth or Iron Maiden.

Within a month of this happening, the married couple with the kids on the other side got a divorce, and things went really sideways for the dad. The mom moved out, leaving the teenage kids behind, and the dad began drinking heavily. I know this because he offered to drink with me at least 5 times a week. His 15 year-old son held parties almost every weekend, usually with dad partaking, and we had the pleasure of catching young men standing on his roof peeing on to our roof next door on more than one occasion.

Yup… you read that correctly.Read More »

The Night I Found Out I Was Broke

Note: If you got notified of this post yesterday, I apologize. It got messed up by the holiday weekend, and I didn’t catch it until it posted early. What follows is the edited and much funnier version!

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Now I was wishing I was the person holding the phone in that scary movie, because I was only moments away from the sweet release of that orange traffic cone.

Starting Debt (01.01.19): $126,310.77
Current Debt: $110,102.44
Total Paid Off: $16,208.33
Income Going to Savings: 1%

Okay, so I’m not broke. It’s a sensational post title to get views because I guess that’s what my life has become. I’m really close to broke, but I’m not broke. I’m still paying my bills, but I just don’t have anything going to savings and a mountain of debt. So maybe I am broke.

In any case…

My wife and I have had an agreement pretty much since we got married 23 years ago, and that agreement goes like this:

I keep my mouth shut and she lets me continue to live inside.

Wait… wrong agreement. Here is the right one:

My wife handles the bills, and I don’t ask questions.

If there was something I wanted to buy I’d say, “I’m going to buy this,” and then she would either say it was fine or it wasn’t fine.

My wife is one of the most caring and loyal people walking the face of the earth, and slowly over time my kids and I began to wear her down. She hated the feeling of being “the bad guy” and telling one of us that we couldn’t have something, so she continued to find ways of saying yes.Read More »